Those Who Generate Sadness

I don’t know if there is a general definition of sadness. But for me, sadness arises from the suffering of people I love, the death of those I value, sorrowful events on my country’s agenda, animals being subjected to mistreatment, and many other similar things. I realized that all of these are sources of sadness created by circumstances unfolding outside of myself. So what individually makes me sad?

I suppose I don’t have a clear answer to that. Because just as we accept and embrace the existence of happiness, we must also accept the existence of sadness. As long as humanity exists, deaths and sorrowful events will continue to occur. So how should we respond to these circumstances in a way that benefits us?

The only answer that works for me is to not run away from any emotion, no matter what it is, but to accept it and continue living with its consequences. Is there a situation that causes sadness? The most ordinary thing in life is to reflect on why this current experience affects me so deeply—either by questioning it consciously or by quietly observing it and simply remaining present with the feeling it brings.

People create various forms of sadness for themselves. The first is expectations: unrealistic expectations of people, relationships, and life itself. Everyone has opinions about how things should be and believes certain things ought to happen. For example, when you begin a relationship, you might have a list of criteria—this is how it should be, this is how it should look—as if you are placing an order for an ideal partner. But people often fail to recognize that those they are with are human beings, and that their own expectations push those individuals away from who they truly are. This strikes me as extremely selfish. You place someone in an idealized mold, and when they cannot meet your expectations—even if they fit into just one of your molds—you feel disappointed. But are you yourself living up to the idealized version others have created for you?

Another source of sadness is becoming stuck, unable to move forward. This happens when someone lets the reactions of those around them dictate their emotional state—constantly wondering, “Why did they say that?” or “Did they misunderstand me?” I believe the main reason for this is distancing oneself from the center of one’s own life, abandoning one’s intrinsic worth, and placing others at the center, so that even the slightest fluctuations in others’ behavior cause one’s own sense of self to waver and scatter. I could list many more sources of sadness that people create, but I think we should talk about happiness. Being happy is that simple. Even the most ordinary moments—a rain shower, a child’s smile—are enough to make us happy. I don’t know if there are truly sincere people in this world who form genuine connections without seeking any personal gain and willingly stand beside each other. The only thing I know for certain is that we must define our own worth. We will show ourselves the compassion others do not. Instead of creating sadness for ourselves, we will pursue happiness and strive to claim it for ourselves.