Seeking the Horizon and the Infinite

Sometimes a person becomes trapped between the noise of the external world and the silence of their inner world. On one side, life insists we must keep running; on the other, a quiet inner voice whispers, “What do I truly want?” This essay is about the ancient journey of the person caught between these two voices…

The clash between the noise of the external world and the silence within is, in fact, the very essence of the timeless journey of “afak” and “enfüs” that has never ceased since human existence began.

Afak is the vast external universe that meets our eyes when we open them: a stage filled with career ladders, the cold paper of diplomas, endless obligations, and the narrow costumes society has fitted upon us. Often we find ourselves in the amphitheater of a field we never loved, elbowing our way forward only to earn a title in the future, or at a desk where our feet drag backward each morning. While striving to conquer the external world in pursuit of our goals, we are actually waging our greatest battle within ourselves—in enfüs.

Enfüs are the deep, sometimes dark, sometimes radiant corridors of our soul; the answers to who we truly are, what we love, and how our deepest dreams resonate within our hearts lie hidden there. While we gaze at the glittering vitrines of social media and chase afak with the thought, “I should be there too,” the unspeakable emptiness we feel when we lay our heads on the pillow at night is, in truth, a cry from enfüs.

Searching in Afak and Enfüs (Generated by Artificial Intelligence)

Life is not merely about keeping score of external achievements; it is about discovering the meaning these achievements hold within our inner world. For no matter how far one travels in afak, as long as one has not reached the destination within enfüs, one remains forever incomplete, forever a guest. Perhaps the real challenge is not to exhaust oneself chasing goals that, once attained, fail to deliver the taste we expected, but to crown every step in the external world with an awakening in the inner world.

Instead of losing ourselves in jobs we dislike or roles that do not reflect us, we must learn to root ourselves in the depths of enfüs while wandering the breadth of afak. After all, even when a bird soars through the infinite sky (afak), it exists only through the rhythm of its own wingbeats (enfüs); similarly, only when we unite our outer quest with our inner discovery can we attain the wholeness and authenticity we have always sought.

The sharpest turns in this journey are often hidden in those moments of uncertainty when we ask, “What happens now?” In the external world—in afak—we are constantly in a frenzy to build a flawless display: graduating from the best schools, breaking down the doors of the most prestigious companies, or simply performing endlessly to tell those around us, “I made it.” Yet sometimes, the very moment we believe we have reached our longed-for goal, a profound alienation begins somewhere deep within us.

That unrest within enfüs is the most concrete proof that external success does not align with inner truth. For instance, realizing your heart beats to a different rhythm while sitting through years of lectures in a field you worked so hard to enter, or feeling your soul contract despite occupying a position everyone envies—these are silent rebellions of enfüs against afak.

In the routines of daily life—while stuck in traffic, staring at an exam paper, or struggling under the weight of a job we hate—we do not merely experience physical fatigue; the true self within enfüs is trying to carve out a breath of space amid the chaos of afak.

Our dreams and goals often remain mere templates whispered to us by the external world, yet true searching lies in finding the delicate balance between external opportunities and inner desires. No matter how loud the noise outside, once a person begins to hear their inner voice, the clutter of afak gives way to order. For no achievement without resonance in enfüs can bring lasting happiness in the external world.

The true journey is not about selecting from the endless options offered by the external world, but about carefully plucking out the fragments that most resemble our soul and building our life upon this unique wholeness. The moment we stop asking ourselves why we are running toward a goal, we lose ourselves in afak; yet every pause, every question, “What am I doing here?,” is the most precious visit to enfüs, bringing us one step closer to ourselves.

Therefore, the exhaustion of the quest in afak can only be healed by a pause in enfüs. Often we view life as merely a course of external obstacles to overcome; yet every obstacle is, in fact, an outward reflection of a knot within our inner world.

The heavy burden we feel when looking at textbooks for a subject we dislike is not merely about the difficulty of the subject; it is about the soul being forced to bloom in an alien climate. Perhaps at that moment, it is time to set aside the fear of failure in afak and listen to the suppressed passion within enfüs—the place where we truly wish to be.

Our dreams are sometimes polluted by the external world’s pressure to become our “best version”; yet true dreams are the soul’s desire to reflect its purest essence into afak. In the harsh rhythm of daily life—when we lean our head against a bus window or sit alone in a café—the thought that drifts into our mind, “Is another life possible?,” is, in truth, an olive branch extended to us by enfüs.

This question pulls us away from the mechanical gears of afak and invites us to become the protagonist of our own story. If the fierce struggle we undertake to reach our goals kills the childlike curiosity and peace within us, then the grandeur of where we arrive loses all meaning. For a person who is not at peace with themselves, even the most magnificent palace becomes a place of exile.

A Visual Representing the Concepts of Afak and Enfüs (Generated by Artificial Intelligence)

The true wisdom lies not in trading the necessities of afak for the freedom of enfüs, but in making the two worlds speak to each other. When we see the opportunities offered by the external world as tools for exploring the depths of our inner world, even the jobs we dislike become lessons, and unattainable dreams become steps toward a more mature self. Ultimately, no matter how long the journey or how complex the external world, everything connects to one single, unique center: our own heart.

Every step taken in afak that finds no echo in enfüs is like a breath wasted; yet even the smallest step taken with inner depth can become the beginning of a monumental transformation in the external world.

Sometimes we become so captivated by the glittering scenes of the external world—in afak—that we begin to believe success is measured only by applause. Yet true success lies in winning the silent battles fought in the hidden corners of enfüs, unseen by others. Today we are all forced to live as if we are “projects”: puffing up our CVs, polishing our social media image, and anchoring ourselves in the safe harbors approved by others, sacrificing the very winds our souls truly need.

Perhaps the field you are in now means “a guaranteed future” to those around you, but if for you it is nothing more than a burden you must carry each morning, that guaranteed future in afak can become a prison in enfüs. Our dreams are sometimes borrowed from others’ visions; to understand what we truly want, we must silence all the noisy expectations of the external world for a while.

The fleeting sense of victory you feel upon reaching your goal is temporary; what endures is what you built within yourself along the way. If you have drifted far from yourself during the journey, no matter how beautiful the view from where you arrive, your eyes will forever search for the true self you left behind.

Life is an endless waltz between external opportunities and inner desires. Sometimes afak pushes you into a corner and makes you feel as if you are drowning in tasks you hate. Yet precisely at that point, when you turn to the guidance of enfüs, you will realize those very hardships are sandpapers transforming you into the person you truly are. Every external quest paves the way inward.

The moment you stop defining yourself solely by your titles, possessions, or tangible achievements in the external world, the limiting walls of afak crumble and you open to the infinite horizon of enfüs. For in the end, we are not merely bodies occupying space in this world; we are travelers who color this world with the hues of our inner worlds; and the greatest discovery in this journey is realizing that everything we seek outside is already present somewhere within us…