The Feeling of Regret

Regret is a negative emotional response experienced by an individual due to a past behavior, decision, or an action not taken. This feeling, often expressed through thoughts such as "I wish I hadn’t done that" or "I wish I had done that," is directly related to the individual’s values, expectations, and self-perception. The feeling of regret is an important psychological phenomenon that affects not only personal experiences but also decision-making processes, social relationships, and future behavioral patterns.

The feeling of regret typically emerges in childhood alongside the development of self-awareness. As the individual’s capacity to evaluate their own behavior increases, the inconsistency between past actions and current value judgments becomes more apparent. This inconsistency is the fundamental psychological mechanism that triggers regret. Furthermore, regret tends to be experienced more intensely in situations where the individual perceives having control over the events.

^{A Visual Representing the Feeling of Regret (Created with Artificial Intelligence)}

Regret usually arises from a comparative evaluation. The individual compares a past decision with hypothetical outcomes that an alternative action might have produced. This comparison is called "counterfactual thinking." For example, thoughts like “If I had accepted that offer, my life could be very different now” are products of this process. Counterfactual thinking generally intensifies regret when it focuses on a better possible outcome.

Neuroscientific research indicates that the feeling of regret is associated particularly with brain areas such as the orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) ^【1】 and the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC)^【2】 .  These regions play roles in decision-making, valuation, and social emotions. Experimental studies have shown that damage to these areas can disrupt the perception and experience of regret.

Regret can be classified into different types based on its origin:

• Regret About Action: Regret arising from a behavior the person performed. For example, a word said in anger or a hasty wrong decision.
• Regret About Inaction: Regret stemming from an action the person did not take. This type is often experienced more intensely in the long term. For example, the thought “If I had taken that opportunity, my life could have changed” represents this kind of regret.
• Moral Regret: Arises when a person behaves against their moral values. It is closely related to feelings of guilt.

Although experienced as a negative emotion, regret can contribute positively to an individual’s development:

• Self-Regulation: Regret helps individuals act more carefully and deliberately in similar future situations.
• Moral Development: Particularly moral regret contributes to reevaluating one’s value system.
• Empathy: People who experience regret may better understand others’ mistakes and show forgiveness.

The feeling of regret can be shaped by cultural norms and social expectations. In collectivist societies, where individuals place more importance on the social consequences of their actions, regret is more closely linked to the social context. Conversely, in individualistic societies, regret is more often associated with personal failure or self-efficacy.

Excessive and persistent feelings of regret have been associated with depression and anxiety disorders. In individuals with major depression, symptoms such as rumination on the past, self-blame, and anhedonia often intertwine with regret. In such cases, regret ceases to be a functional emotion and may turn into a psychopathological symptom.