My Healing Marriage (Book)

My Healing Marriage is a guide to inner healing that shows how spiritual disconnection, faulty communication patterns, and emotional wounds between spouses can be recognized and repaired. Hatice Kübra Tongar defines marriage not merely as two people living side by side, but as a spiritual bond woven together with love, fidelity, and patience, oriented jointly toward God. In the book, periods of marital crisis are not viewed as mere temporary separations, but as “gates of mercy” offering couples the opportunity to rediscover one another. This perspective aligns with the Sufi understanding of finding wisdom behind trials and tribulations. In this work, marriage is reinterpreted not as a worldly union, but as an otherworldly communion.

Topics

Breaches in the relationship and the heart’s blockage: Problems in marriage are not only tied to behaviors but to the distance between hearts. The heart’s blockage, in Sufism, is veiled by barriers such as heedlessness and arrogance. The book reveals how these veils can be lifted through introspection and sincere prayer.

Rebuilding marriage: forgiveness, mercy, and prayer: Forgiving, being forgiven, and reestablishing connection form the soul of the book. This mirrors the Sufi concept of “forgiveness and well-being.” Prayer is presented as an invisible bond that restores connection between spouses.

Spiritual closeness: becoming “we”: Marriage is understood not merely as two individuals living together, but as a spiritual unity. In this context, it reflects the Sufi concept of “tawhid” within the family. Jointly turning toward God constitutes the highest level of meaning in marriage.

Spiritual responsibility and moral fidelity: Fidelity in marriage is not merely a physical commitment but a spiritual responsibility. The book urges spouses to approach each other with a sense of trust and stewardship. This embodies the moral and divine accountability inherent in marriage.